"Keep me safe inside your arms like towers.
Tower over me."
Tower over me."
CORY
We go to our hotel room and it’s late. Ryan basically demands we all stay in tonight despite most of us wanting to go out and play. We need to focus, or something. I think it’s lame. For most of us, this is our first time in Hawaii! It’s beautiful here, and we have to spend our first night, possibly our only free night, in a hotel room? Bogus. Something about her is off though and has been ever since we stepped onto the airplane.
“Hey, you okay?” I ask her when I finally get her alone. She’s unpacking her bag, just enough. She always unpacks it just enough.
“Yes.” is her stiff reply.
“You don’t seem it.”
She pauses and then stares up at me. “Do you remember me Cory?”
I stare back at her, shocked and confused because I didn’t think she’d make the connection from that night. Of course I had, but I didn’t want to say anything to her about it. Especially not without my body.
“Cory? I know you’re there. You’re glowing.”
“I know. Yes, I remember you.” I say, not allowing anymore silence to pass between us. I can’t avoid this forever after all.
“Why didn’t you say anything to me earlier?”
“What, that I was the guy who hooked up at you at a club, what, three years ago?” I shrug. “I didn’t think you’d care, or remember either.” Truth was, it was because I was afraid. Most of my hook ups I dont’ remember, but Ryan is more or less unforgettable. Along with that, she’s the last girl I was with in my own body. Of course I’m always going to remember that night. But I don’t say anything about any of this. I’d rather not have her pity.
“Of course I remember.” She mumbles. “You say that like I hook up with lots of random men.”
“I don’t know. I tend to not want to assume either way when it comes with that sort of thing. The point of the hook up is to be anonymous. After all, I didn’t know your name until now.” I say softly.
“Yes, I know.” She sighs. “Never mind, forget I mentioned it then. Go back to your anonymous world.”
“Ryan.” I sigh as well and I go to put a hand on her shoulder. She stares up at me and she has tears in her eyes. I don’t get it. At all. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m overwhelmed. It’s nothing.”
“Talk to me.”
“I’ve said everything I have to say to you.”
I sigh, and pull her into a hug and she starts to cry. Big, tough girl Ryan, crying in my arms. I frown and sit her down on the bed with me. She curls in and just sobs. Thankfully everyone else is away, so she doesn’t have to feel anymore embarrassed. I mean, I don’t know for sure, but just what I know of Ryan, I know she wouldn’t want everyone else to see. She probably didn’t even want me to see, so in a way I feel kind of honored.
We lay back in bed, she’s crying, I’m holding her, and it’s kind of nice. it’s silly, i know, but this is the sort of thing that always had me wanting a relationship. Being needed and thought of as important. It’s not like have commitment issues. I’d commit if I found the right girl. She could be that, but right now it’s kind of hard to have that sort of relationship when I don’t even have my own body.
“If it makes you feel better, I was going to go back to find out who you are when I get hit with the car.” I say quietly. “I wanted to know you.”
She stops for a moment and our eyes meet. “That was how you became like this?”
I nod, and she breaks down into more tears. Shit, that wasn’t what I was going for. “I-.”
“Don’t apologize.” She says in-between sniffles. “Please don’t say anything more.”
So i don’t. Instead I hold her until she falls asleep, and somewhere in there I fell asleep as well. I didn’t realize what big of a mistake that was until the next morning when Coty took over. But that is a whole other story.
We go to our hotel room and it’s late. Ryan basically demands we all stay in tonight despite most of us wanting to go out and play. We need to focus, or something. I think it’s lame. For most of us, this is our first time in Hawaii! It’s beautiful here, and we have to spend our first night, possibly our only free night, in a hotel room? Bogus. Something about her is off though and has been ever since we stepped onto the airplane.
“Hey, you okay?” I ask her when I finally get her alone. She’s unpacking her bag, just enough. She always unpacks it just enough.
“Yes.” is her stiff reply.
“You don’t seem it.”
She pauses and then stares up at me. “Do you remember me Cory?”
I stare back at her, shocked and confused because I didn’t think she’d make the connection from that night. Of course I had, but I didn’t want to say anything to her about it. Especially not without my body.
“Cory? I know you’re there. You’re glowing.”
“I know. Yes, I remember you.” I say, not allowing anymore silence to pass between us. I can’t avoid this forever after all.
“Why didn’t you say anything to me earlier?”
“What, that I was the guy who hooked up at you at a club, what, three years ago?” I shrug. “I didn’t think you’d care, or remember either.” Truth was, it was because I was afraid. Most of my hook ups I dont’ remember, but Ryan is more or less unforgettable. Along with that, she’s the last girl I was with in my own body. Of course I’m always going to remember that night. But I don’t say anything about any of this. I’d rather not have her pity.
“Of course I remember.” She mumbles. “You say that like I hook up with lots of random men.”
“I don’t know. I tend to not want to assume either way when it comes with that sort of thing. The point of the hook up is to be anonymous. After all, I didn’t know your name until now.” I say softly.
“Yes, I know.” She sighs. “Never mind, forget I mentioned it then. Go back to your anonymous world.”
“Ryan.” I sigh as well and I go to put a hand on her shoulder. She stares up at me and she has tears in her eyes. I don’t get it. At all. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m overwhelmed. It’s nothing.”
“Talk to me.”
“I’ve said everything I have to say to you.”
I sigh, and pull her into a hug and she starts to cry. Big, tough girl Ryan, crying in my arms. I frown and sit her down on the bed with me. She curls in and just sobs. Thankfully everyone else is away, so she doesn’t have to feel anymore embarrassed. I mean, I don’t know for sure, but just what I know of Ryan, I know she wouldn’t want everyone else to see. She probably didn’t even want me to see, so in a way I feel kind of honored.
We lay back in bed, she’s crying, I’m holding her, and it’s kind of nice. it’s silly, i know, but this is the sort of thing that always had me wanting a relationship. Being needed and thought of as important. It’s not like have commitment issues. I’d commit if I found the right girl. She could be that, but right now it’s kind of hard to have that sort of relationship when I don’t even have my own body.
“If it makes you feel better, I was going to go back to find out who you are when I get hit with the car.” I say quietly. “I wanted to know you.”
She stops for a moment and our eyes meet. “That was how you became like this?”
I nod, and she breaks down into more tears. Shit, that wasn’t what I was going for. “I-.”
“Don’t apologize.” She says in-between sniffles. “Please don’t say anything more.”
So i don’t. Instead I hold her until she falls asleep, and somewhere in there I fell asleep as well. I didn’t realize what big of a mistake that was until the next morning when Coty took over. But that is a whole other story.
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