Monday, April 9
Tuesday, March 6
I'm shivering and I can't help but wonder just how I got here. Well, I know it's my own damn fault, but if you had told me two years ago I'd be on a reality TV show to repent for killing someone, I'd ask if you were high or something. But that's exactly what happened.
Nothing that happens on Escape tends to surprise me anymore. I'm in a cave. I don't know how I got here, only that I'm tied up to Reesa. Of all people. She's entirely bad, I'll admit it, but she's annoying all the same because she doesn't know how to shut up. Plus she has to be the center of attention. If I'm having a conversation with anyone but her, she interrupts along with flaunting herself around in clothes barely meet dress code requirements for most places. When she's just being herself though, I don't mind her. And I think that's what frustrates me the most about her. She's not being herself most of the time. It's so obvious. I don't understand all of the insecurity issues.
“Too bad we weren't tied up the other way,” she says and I try to ignore her. She starts rubbing her back against mine and I don't want to think about what she's doing.
“Almost there,” she grunts, and I close my eyes and suppress a groan of disgust. Then I realize we aren't tied together anymore.
I pull away, stretch, and stare at her. “What did you do?”
“Sawed through the knot?” She rolls her eyes, “T, your mind wouldn't be in the gutter so bad if you did something about it. Let me know when, okay?”
“Sure thing,” I sigh and offer her my hand to help her stand. “Thanks.”
“No problem. Now, where are we and what's going on? I could have sworn I fell asleep in the hotel.”
“They'll do that a lot. Take you away in the middle of the night. I'm not quite sure how it works, but you know....” I trail off when I hear a sound not too far away. Sounds like footsteps and growling. I wonder briefly if maybe it's Toby all hulked out again, but it doesn't sound like his growl. It reminds me more of a bear. And of course, there are hunters creeping along the sides of the walls, and I think they're waiting to see what we're going to do. Then I notice they keep approaching this wall of sorts, only to back away. There's a slight glimmer to it. They're being held back by a force field.
“I think we need to go,” I say and drag Reesa to a door. But the bear growling is coming from there. I scowl and look around. There isn't really anywhere else for us to go.
She smiles, “I'm not scared of a teddy bear. Come on.” And she presses onward with more bravery than I would have imagined. I definitely get a lot more respect for her then.
We're wandering through wherever we are and it doesn't take long for us to step outside into the freezing snow. We're surrounded by hunters.
“You can't go this way,” one says. “In fact, you aren't supposed to escape.”
“That's the whole point of the show asshole,” Reesa sneers.
I shake my head, “she has a point.”
“Yes, but that isn't the game for this week. This week, you're the bait.” Another hunter says. A girl. I'm kind of surprised because I thought they were all boys and I've never heard them talk. I wasn't even sure if they were human up until now.
I groan a little, “I don't want to be bait. I-.”
“You don't get a say. You weren't supposed to wake up,” the girl says and comes up to me. She's smiling. It's kind of weird.
“Hey T, maybe if you bang her, she'll let us go? She's totally jonesing for you!” Reesa whispers.
I roll my eyes and open my mouth to say something when there's one swift movement to my shoulder blades and then I go out like a light.
To be continued....
Wednesday, February 8
NEVER HAVE I EVER
The new girl and I get back from the grocery store. Can I just say it's awesome to have my own body back again? I've missed it a lot. Being tall, and well, me! We got a surplus of cash for our prize from winning the latest challenge, as well as a bonus for picking Reesa up. Interesting girl, I should add. I'm not quite sure what to think about her yet, but then again, I don't know a whole lot about her. She doesn't like to talk about herself. One of those kind of people. She'll deter the conversation away from her by making jokes or hitting on me. Hitting on just about all the guys actually. We'd walk in the store and she'd be like, “do you see how yummy he is?” No, I don't. I don't look at other guys like that. But I'd nod and look at supplies instead. We'd need new car food and adequate entertainment. While we had about three grand to blow, we didn't spend anywhere near that much money. You know, just in case we'd want it later. We have credit cards from the show, but we don't know what the hunters track and use. They'd yet to get us while we were resting at the hotel, but we've always been careful all the same.
The most I know about Reesa is she's nineteen and a little hussy. That's all she talks about. Sex. Which makes me think she's either super insecure, or she's lying to make herself “look good”. Not quite sure what's going on in her head.
“Got a lot of stuff,” Toby says and comes up to check out the goods. “We got room service.”
“I see that.” There's a lot of food, but I'm not going to complain. I've missed being able to eat like normal. Something I'm still getting used to. The doctor's said I had to ease my way back into things, but I think I'm making good progress. Most of it is just getting used to being on my own again and not having do everything T's way. I should add that Coty has a sensitive stomach. He likes to eat a lot of foreign food, but it doesn't always agree with him. Pretty sure he's got some kind of exotic food allergy that's making him sick, but it sure is nice to eat a slice of pizza and not having it come back to bite me later just because he has an issue with grease or cheese or food.
I grab a mozzarella stick and indulge. T is working on a bowl of pasta in the living room chatting with Ipod. She's eating a burger that's the size of her head. There's ice cream on the counter too, cheesecake, brownies, cookies, I'm pretty sure they ordered the whole menu. But again, we were celebrating. We'd be getting our next clue tomorrow, but we weren't required to actually leave our hotel digs for at least three days. In fact, they encouraged us to take our time heading out, which of course makes me wonder what is up. Why encourage us to stay and not get on with the show? Still, I guess one more day can't hurt.
Yeah, with Ryan gone, I've kind of decided to be the one keeping us all organized. Only instead of ruling with an iron bitch fist like her, I'm a little more open to persuasion. I'm the oldest and wisest of the group. It makes sense.
“What's this?” Toby asks as he pulls out a bottle of vodka I had bought.
I look over at Reesa, “we thought we'd play a get to know you game. Ever heard of never have I ever?”
T stares are me, “So you want to get drunk tonight? Seems like a great idea. Being hungover with hunters chasing us.”
“Eh, you're such a goodie goodie you'll be perfectly sober. And that'll be good to have you drive since you get car sick anyway.” I point out. He sighs, but doesn't say anything more. I grab the bottle and show it to him, “Besides, it's coconut flavored!”
I don't mention that he'll probably have a high tolerance to the alcohol anyway. I've been drinking with his body for five years, so I got it built up pretty good. My own, I need to work on.
“Come on!” Reesa says and digs around the hotel room for some glasses so we can pour shots. Vodka wasn't exactly my first choice, but she insisted. I don't know if she knows what she's doing, but I got tired of arguing with her.
We all sat down in the den area of the hotel room and took a glass. I put about a shots worth in each.
“All right, who goes first?” I ask.
“Whoever had the stupid idea to do this,” T says. Wow, he's grumpy today. I wonder if I missed something while I was gone between him and Ipod. They've got some kind of weird drama. Personally I think they just need to hook up already and move on with their lives. It's clear they wanna bang.
Reesa grins, “Never have I ever had sex.” Wow she's bold and she takes a drink from her shot. I do mine, and watch the rest of the room. Coty looks like he's about to crap himself, Ipod is unamused, and Toby is discretely trying to drink from his glass while no one is looking.
“You do know how to play this right?” I ask him, because last I checked the kid was still pure and virginal.
Toby rolls his eyes, “Yes, I know how to play. What the hell do you think we do back home on the weekends? Drinking games.” Though from what I remember from my talks with the kid, he didn't get out much because of his monster 'condition'.
“Rock on man!” I want to congratulate him but it's clear he's still kind of embarrassed like most newbs are. Being young adds to it too. We'll talk later. I'm sure he'll want to.
Reesa eyes my brother and smirks, “now I know who's corruptible.”
Coty raises an eyebrow and shifts in his chair, kind of towards Ipod, like he's going to use her for cover. Reesa just blows him a kiss and looks at me.
“All right, never have I ever been arrested,” I say and sit back and watch as everyone takes a nice drink.
“How do you know when you're drunk?” Toby asks and blinks a couple of times.
Reesa giggles, “When you have to ask that question, light weight!”
“I'm not a light weight, I was just curious. Gosh, it's only been like two shots. That's nothing. Not a big deal. Chill out. Pour me another!”
I do so, and wait for someone else to ask a question.
“Never have I ever ridden a horse.” Ipod says. Me and Toby take a shot, and everyone else is staring silently.
“What? I went to farm camp,” I say. “Didn't mom make you go?”
“Horses freak me out,” Coty mumbles.
“They're sexy,” Reesa says. “I just never got the chance to since I lived in the city.” She's still making kissie faces at my brother. I don't think she's caught on yet, or maybe she doesn't care that he's not interested.
He sighs and puts down his cup. “Never have I ever been a slut.”
I raise an eyebrow and pour a shot, but then add another three on top of that because it's only appropriate and fitting. If anyone's a slut, it's me. Reesa pouts when she picks up the bottle and finds it basically empty. She drinks whatever remains in a rather suggestive manner and then puts in down on the table.
“Well, that was fun,” she says and gets up, making sure to give us all a flash of her panty covered hoo-ha that's underneath her super short skirt. One of her hands trails over Toby's hair as she walks into the kitchen. “Enlightening. I told you we'd need at least three bottles though babe.”
“Not your babe,” I mumble. Coty is glaring at me from across the room. I shrug. What am I supposed to do about her? It's not like I can kick her off the team, and ditching her would not go over all too well...I don't think.
Toby sighs and looks at his empty glass. “I miss Ryan.”
“Let's give her more of a chance before making any decisions or judge her.” She shoots the look at Coty. I swear, sometimes they act like they're dating.
She's right. We shouldn't be making too many judgment calls. I still believe it's all an act. I wish she'd share more of her story. Alas, that's something she'll hopefully volunteer on her own in the future.
Monday, January 9
The break was too short. I wanted more time with Moira than I had, but at least I can say we made the most of the brief time we did. Or maybe it only feels brief. Time flies right? Isn't that the saying? All I know is one night I fell asleep, all happy, and snuggling with her, and the next I woke up, upside down mind you, in the middle of a hedge garden complete with creepy animal shapes. A lion's ass is right in front of my face.
“Ugh,” I groan and slowly do the most painful ab crunch in the world as I reach up to undo the knots around my ankles. They're pretty crappily done, so I'm surprised I'm even able to stay tied to the tree thing. I don't know what it is I'm connected to. It's a plant. Maybe one of the animals? All I know is the blood is rushing to my head and it hurts like hell. What I don't realize is that once my ankles are free, there's nothing keeping me stuck to the tree which means guess who fell to their ass and bruised their tailbone? Me.
“That was smart,” I hear a guy mumble from nearby. I look over and see some blond dude I've never met before in my life. Something about him is familiar though. Next to him is an unconscious T, and next to him is Ipod. She's awake, but disoriented.
“Who are you?” I look at the new guy.
“Uh, Cory?” He rolls his blue eyes and shakes his head then T. “Bro, wake up. You okay?”
“Yeah,” T says with a soft groan. “I'm okay. You?”
I stare at Cory? And T, and I see the resemblance, but I can't believe it. “You got your body back!”
I'm thrilled. I like Cory. He's cool people, and now I can talk to him on a regular basis instead of on a schedule. Plus it'll be good to have another body. We were at a disadvantage only having four physical members of the team before. But then I notice someone else is missing.
“Uh, where is Ryan?”
That's when the undeniable voice of Chance Cagney could be heard over a multitude of speakers.
“Hello Team Introversion with a three. It's good to have you back for a second go. Now I'm sure you notice you're not quite at home anymore. Oh, and there's someone new and someone old and someone missing. Now, you have two choices. You can take the smooth, easy path to the exit right in front of you and continue on as if nothing was wrong, or you can find your fifth team member in the maze to your left. Keep in mind though that it is littered with hunters who are eager to taze and torment you. The choice is yours. You have about five seconds to get up before the doors open for the hunters.”
“Well, we can't leave Ryan behind,” I say. As much as I'm torn on if I like her or not. We can't because she's been a part of the team since the beginning. It would be weird without her. Besides, sometimes I do like her. She's not always a whiny bitch.
The others all nod, and I'm glad we're all on the same wavelength. I guess that's why we work well together despite being so different and dysfunctional. We take the left, the doors opening for the hunters to come in right as T staggers out behind everyone else. Kind of worried about the guy because he's not quite with it yet. I mean, I had just woken up and I felt fine enough to run.
There are arrows pointing, in various different directions. And they're different colors too. It takes me a moment to realize that they lead down different paths. Maybe each color is a different trail for us to take? Eenie Meanie Minie Moe has us going down the green one. It takes us deeper into the maze, and that has to be right since Chance said it was going to be long and complicated. Boy was it.
Let's just say there was a pit of some rather gross looking mud that reeks like what I imagine the bog of eternal stench from Labyrinth smells like. Nice touch producers, I gotta say, I'm impressed that was added in. There's a cage around us, I can hear hunters coming in from behind. The mud looks too thick to swim through and too deep to simply walk across. The only option we have is to climb over it via the cage. Fun times right? Cory leads the way. Climbing up and dangling upside down like he's on the monkey bars and crawling across. T is next, and he decides to go about it with just his arms. Guy is a lot stronger than I give him credit for. Ipod looks at me and I motion for her to go first.
“In case something happens. Then I can get you,” I say with a nod. I can feel my body getting ready to start hulking out on me. Not something I look forward to doing ever, but controlling myself was better. And Ipod...she's good at keeping me calm. I know I'd be able to help her no matter what.
She climbs up, going about it in a similar way as Cory. I decide to try out my upper arm strength. Probably a bad idea because I see a laser shoot past me then and down below are a number of hunters.
One actually climbs up the grate after us and I'm more or less amazed at how fast this guy can move. It's not natural. The hunter closes in on me, and in about three seconds he leaps at me, knocking me off the grate and into the muddy pit.
The mud surrounds me. It smells and I gag, taking in the disgusting goo like substance into my mouth. The hunters hands are all over me, I can feel my body start to change, my mind going fuzzy and blank. I'm pretty sure they like to make me freak out just so that I can turn into the monster inside of me. It's great for ratings.
Naturally, several hours later I return to my normal state of mind. Like usual, I can't remember much of anything that I did during my monster mayhem. My eyes open and I'm looking up at a perfect blue sky. A girl is leaning over me, and for a moment I think I see Moira.
“I missed you,” I say quietly. Then I realize it's not her, and I start to miss her even more.
The girl is someone I've never seen before in my life. She's got red hair, one of those baby doll faces, and perky boobs that are popping out of her shirt. The only reason I notice them is because they were passing out of her shirt.
“Aww shucks, you missed me?” A soft southern twang says. “And we haven't even been properly introduced.”
“She's not Ryan,” I say. “What the hell!”
“My name is Reesa, so that's kinda close right?”
“Get off of me,” I mumble.
“She's our new team member. Ryan went home.” Ipod's voice comes into my mind.
I stare at her and shake my head. “Great.”
“We have our next clue,” Cory adds. “And keys to a hotel. Something about a reward being there.”
“Cool, you can catch me up there.” I didn't want to hear about being a monster then. All I wanted to do was get back, log onto my laptop, and make sure Moira was okay. If Ryan got sent home, maybe she got to stay back too?
Monday, August 29
"No Mom, I'm not coming home during the break...yes beacuse I'd rather spend time with Moira." Toby paced during his conversation. I guess this answered where he was going. Whatever he wanted I suppose.
"What about you?" T asks me. "Going home?"
"No," I say, because there's nothing for there anyway. Though I don't know where I'm going to go, and I hope he offers some kind of guidance.
"No" She signs. I know that word. "I'm going to travel." She finishes in thought speech.
"Same." Coty says.
"You should come with me." I know she's offering it to both of us, but she really only means him.
"I'll catch up with you somewhere if I can? The producers want to have some kind of a meeting with me? And they said I might not be done with whatever they have planned until a week or so." He shrugs. I'm a little disappointed. I want to spend more time with him and his brother, but I'm also sure the producers have something good for him since he was voted the MVP.
Ipod stares at me. "Just us girls then?"
I think this over, part of me wanting to be alone. At the same time, this would be good for me. Female time is always a plus, and I need to get my head in order before we start our next round of challenges.
I nod. "Sounds great."
Monday, August 22
(continued at Team Promethiad)
done with this final challenge. The bonfire in the middle of the jungle was all too familiar
to Survivor and he couldn't help but laugh about that one. Ryan gave him a weird look
for it of course, but she didn't have a sense of humor. Both her and Ipod clung to Cory.
He couldn't help but wonder if they were avoiding him because of his
second occurrence of turning into the monster. They were being more weird than usual.
All of those feelings faded however when he saw Moira enter with her team.
It was time for voting. Moira was relieved that the challenges were over-for now.
After this, they would be getting a break. They didn't know for how long. They were all
tired and a light film of soot covered their skin. The volcano was still erupting and the air
was heavy with the soot.
Moira laughed as she entered the clearing where a giant bonfire was blazing. It
reminded her all too much of another show. She looked around for Toby's team and
smiled as she met his eyes across the fire. She wandered over and sat down next to him,
not caring what either of their teams thought. "Looks a little familiar, doesn't it?" she
murmured to him.
"Yeah. I'm kind of hoping I get voted off the island." He sighed and watched as
Chance Cagney came out, looking as chipper and annoying as ever.
"Congratulations! You have survived our first run of challenges. We do in fact
have a winner but we would like to extend the opportunity to change things up a bit. As
you know, the rules originally said only one could win. We are willing to offer all of you
a chance at the thing you desperately desire. The catch? You have to compete for longer,
and we decide how long that will be. Majority rules will be the deciding factor. I will
hand each of you some paper and you may write your decision now as well as who you
think should be declared the ultimate player from your team."
As Chance passed around the paper and pens, Moira wondered what she should
do. If she stayed, that might be more of an opportunity to be with Toby--as long as he
stayed as well. If he left now, he might not get "healed" of his monster power. Making
sure no one was paying attention, she leaned over and whispered in Toby's ear: "What do
you want to do want to do?"
He sighed, unsure of what to do or think. "If it means you being okay, I'm willing
to keep going for as long as it takes." He wrote his vote, putting Ipod as his team's most
valuable player. She'd done so much for him.
Moira quickly wrote down her vote to stay. If Toby was staying, she was staying.
She paused as she tried to think about the most valuable teammate. Definitely not Lily or
Jesse. Neither one had really done anything. It had to be Will. He had saved her when she
was trapped in the funhouse at the fair, and he had come back for her and carried her
through the desert when she had fallen and sprained her ankle. She had to vote him MVP,
despite the growing drama between them. She sighed as she wrote down his name,
hoping it wouldn't come back to haunt her.
He watched as the others put their votes in the box and sighed, reaching for her
hand to hold her close. He needed the extra comfort right now.
"Well teams, it's unanimous! Everyone wants to continue with the competition,"
Chance announced, looking gleeful.
This actually surprised Toby. He'd have thought for sure that at least Ryan would
want to pick a winner and bail. He squeezed Moira's hand, unsure of what this would
mean for them now. What happened next?
"You have three months to prepare. See your families. See the world. Whatever
you do, figure out why you're here." Chance said.
Monday, August 15
Monday, August 8
Wednesday, August 3
Tower over me."
We go to our hotel room and it’s late. Ryan basically demands we all stay in tonight despite most of us wanting to go out and play. We need to focus, or something. I think it’s lame. For most of us, this is our first time in Hawaii! It’s beautiful here, and we have to spend our first night, possibly our only free night, in a hotel room? Bogus. Something about her is off though and has been ever since we stepped onto the airplane.
“Hey, you okay?” I ask her when I finally get her alone. She’s unpacking her bag, just enough. She always unpacks it just enough.
“Yes.” is her stiff reply.
“You don’t seem it.”
She pauses and then stares up at me. “Do you remember me Cory?”
I stare back at her, shocked and confused because I didn’t think she’d make the connection from that night. Of course I had, but I didn’t want to say anything to her about it. Especially not without my body.
“Cory? I know you’re there. You’re glowing.”
“I know. Yes, I remember you.” I say, not allowing anymore silence to pass between us. I can’t avoid this forever after all.
“Why didn’t you say anything to me earlier?”
“What, that I was the guy who hooked up at you at a club, what, three years ago?” I shrug. “I didn’t think you’d care, or remember either.” Truth was, it was because I was afraid. Most of my hook ups I dont’ remember, but Ryan is more or less unforgettable. Along with that, she’s the last girl I was with in my own body. Of course I’m always going to remember that night. But I don’t say anything about any of this. I’d rather not have her pity.
“Of course I remember.” She mumbles. “You say that like I hook up with lots of random men.”
“I don’t know. I tend to not want to assume either way when it comes with that sort of thing. The point of the hook up is to be anonymous. After all, I didn’t know your name until now.” I say softly.
“Yes, I know.” She sighs. “Never mind, forget I mentioned it then. Go back to your anonymous world.”
“Ryan.” I sigh as well and I go to put a hand on her shoulder. She stares up at me and she has tears in her eyes. I don’t get it. At all. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m overwhelmed. It’s nothing.”
“Talk to me.”
“I’ve said everything I have to say to you.”
I sigh, and pull her into a hug and she starts to cry. Big, tough girl Ryan, crying in my arms. I frown and sit her down on the bed with me. She curls in and just sobs. Thankfully everyone else is away, so she doesn’t have to feel anymore embarrassed. I mean, I don’t know for sure, but just what I know of Ryan, I know she wouldn’t want everyone else to see. She probably didn’t even want me to see, so in a way I feel kind of honored.
We lay back in bed, she’s crying, I’m holding her, and it’s kind of nice. it’s silly, i know, but this is the sort of thing that always had me wanting a relationship. Being needed and thought of as important. It’s not like have commitment issues. I’d commit if I found the right girl. She could be that, but right now it’s kind of hard to have that sort of relationship when I don’t even have my own body.
“If it makes you feel better, I was going to go back to find out who you are when I get hit with the car.” I say quietly. “I wanted to know you.”
She stops for a moment and our eyes meet. “That was how you became like this?”
I nod, and she breaks down into more tears. Shit, that wasn’t what I was going for. “I-.”
“Don’t apologize.” She says in-between sniffles. “Please don’t say anything more.”
So i don’t. Instead I hold her until she falls asleep, and somewhere in there I fell asleep as well. I didn’t realize what big of a mistake that was until the next morning when Coty took over. But that is a whole other story.
Monday, July 25
finally. It felt like forever since they had run into each other at the carnival. She was
afraid to hope that she might run into him in Hawaii. It was a big island. Even if his team
was sent there, it wasn’t likely that they would be able to find each other.
car the night before with Adrian driving and she hadn’t gotten a chance to brush her hair
yet. She grabbed a hairbrush out of her bag and stopped a flight attendant, who told her
to go ahead but hurry up. She stood up and headed for where the flight attendant had told
her to go.
her. “M...Moira?” he asked quietly. He almost had to pinch himself because this was
almost too good to be true.
without stopping to think. She pulled back quickly and looked around to make sure none
of her teammates had noticed. They were sitting too far back to see. “You’re being sent to
and sit in two other seats together! This is a long flight you know.” He winked, being
playfully suggestive of course.
do it! But do you think we can sneak past everyone?”
they'll mind. If anything, I'll say you were a random hook up?” Though he did hate that
questions. But I can tell them you're my girlfriend? I'm not scared of the truth.”
making you up.” She laughed. “And maybe it'll get Will to stop freaking hitting on me!”
look on Lily's face already when she sees me with you.”
so they could get ready for take off. He wasn't going to complain about relocating since
he got stuck next to two loud and annoying kids. He did find a seat nearby all the same
look on Lily's face as they passed her. No doubt she'd be back at their seats harassing
them as soon as the seatbelt light went off.
seatbelt and then hesitantly leaned her head against his shoulder. She didn't think he'd
pull away, but being around him again made her feel nervous--in a good way.
felt last time when they were together were no longer there. The more time he spent with
her in person, the easier it was to have those feelings of them belonging together.
implied, hoping he hadn't just opened up a bad can of worms, instead of thinking about
the plane and how it could easily blow up in mid-air.
body went tense as the plane lifted off the ground. “We're going to be all right, aren't we?
We're gonna get there okay?” She needed his reassurance.
think about it, it wouldn't bother him. The seatbelt sign turned off.
aisle. “So, who's this, Moira? Abandoning your team for some random guy?”
“This wasn't planned. Totally a coincidence,” Moira answered.
she even understand? “No she's not making me up. We've been dating for what? Six
months? Eight? What do you want to count as our first date? When I saved you from
the troll, or when you fried the warlock in the caves?” He stared at Lily, daring her to
“What are you two talking about?” Lily asked. “You sound crazy.”
he's on the plane.”
fled back up the aisle to her seat.